Lists coming next (thank you Cowgirl Rae!)

   Since I posted this I have figured out a couple things. I knew when I made this list, that it was a good thing. That I was getting to a point where I was starting to change my perception and I was beginning to make some of the changes in my life, must's in stead of should's.
   But after the time that has transpired since my last post I have realized what I was doing. Tony Robbins puts it like this, in order to change something in a lasting way, you must go through 3 steps.(neuro associative conditioning)
Step #1 Get leverage. This list was me getting leverage on my self, I was getting angry enough with my excuses to make it a must for me to change. This list caused me emotional pain that I was inflicting on myself by not taking charge.
Step #2 Interrupt the pattern.  This list was created when I was on my run one day, I began running harder than I have in years. Running with a vengeance, and affirming out loud that I refuse to accept this any longer. This was the beginning of my mental conditioning I needed to remain strong through the pattern shifts coming my way. And it was the first drastic pattern shift to start the sequence for me. I don't recommend what I did, but I just flat out put my foot down hard for the next three days. This was very hard on my relationship, but it created enough pain for both of us to make a decision that we must change! Keep in mind, at the time I didn't exactly know I was doing this, I just knew something had to change, and it had to change NOW! During this time that I was putting my foot down, I was not in any way reasonable, so the conflict was inevitable. This was harsh, and like I said I don't recommend it, but I can tell you this, it freegin worked! So at this point, mission accomplished, pattern interrupted!
Step #3 Create a new pattern.  This one is a work in progress, but I can tell you with confidence that I am developing new healthy patterns in the way I communicate, not just with my wife but with everyone! I write my wife a love letter of some sort almost every day, and I now take a long honest look at her side when she feels I am not understanding her. And in doing so, I have found that she has valid reasons for her feelings, imagine that...LOL

I will posting the list soon.

And I will also be posting the list I made of the things I can learn from my relationship, it is the greatest list of my life!